Today is September 12th and it's Alan's birthday. It's hard for him to really enjoy the day ever since 9/11. We're both New Yorkers (I happened to have been off from work that day) and will be eternally affected by the mind-boggling events that transpired. We watched new footage on the History Channel last night (I think it was called Remembering 9/11) and they showed actual video clips taken by New Yorkers as the events unfolded. The plumes of clouds entering the streets after the collapse of the buildings...people running for their lives....covered with ash...I couldn't help thinking that some of that was human ash/remains. People just like us...who had been obliterated by the collapse and explosions. I was equally struck by the ability of others -- who witnessed all this -- to perservere. I'll never forget going back to work a couple of days after the disaster and being grief stricken by the scores of MISSING posters that covered the walls of the city. Photos of loved ones...many of whom were never to be seen again. It was really heartbreaking.
All of this probably underscores the fact that life is so very precious and should be celebrated with every breath you take. So Happy Birthday Alan. I celebrate your existence and am happy you're a part of my life.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Child Rearing: Window Sill Bondage
When I was growing up in the South Bronx, there was a girl named Sonia who lived in the projects across the street from my house. She lived on the third floor. The most vivid memory I have of Sonia is that of her sitting on the window sill, tied up with some clothesline rope. watching all of us kids play on the street below. It was common knowledge in our neighborhood that if Sonia was tied up, it meant she was being punished by her parents. Just like "time-out", only South Bronx style. Sometimes she'd be on that windowsill for hours, watching the action of our block. We'd all wave up to her and she'd wave back. She never looked like she was in pain or anything and I don't ever remember seeing her cry.
Sonia's bondage seemed unusual, perhaps, but not necessarily harsh. At that time, my own father used to discipline my sisters and I with a leather belt. My father was a tough guy with a bad temper and I was an emotional wreck....so not for nothing, but I had my own problems.
At 11 years old.
Abnormal was normal.
My whole neighborhood was dysfunctional -- a perfect blend of winos, junkies, blue collar workers and rose bushes.
The landlord lived upstairs from us. He and his wife were God-fearing, church-going people. Their son lived downstairs from us. He was a brazen, big time heroin dealer who feared no one.
I liked the whole family. They were really nice.
Sometimes I think about Sonia and wonder whatever happened to her. As an adult, did she suffer emotional and psychological damage from the disciplinary bondage, or was she able to rise above her bizarre life experience and discover that in New York City, you can make a really decent living as a dominatrix?
The past is spent energy.
Right, wrong or otherwise.
The future is now.
Yours to create.
Strength of spirit is
always
your ultimate power source.
Plug in.
Sonia's bondage seemed unusual, perhaps, but not necessarily harsh. At that time, my own father used to discipline my sisters and I with a leather belt. My father was a tough guy with a bad temper and I was an emotional wreck....so not for nothing, but I had my own problems.
At 11 years old.
Abnormal was normal.
My whole neighborhood was dysfunctional -- a perfect blend of winos, junkies, blue collar workers and rose bushes.
The landlord lived upstairs from us. He and his wife were God-fearing, church-going people. Their son lived downstairs from us. He was a brazen, big time heroin dealer who feared no one.
I liked the whole family. They were really nice.
Sometimes I think about Sonia and wonder whatever happened to her. As an adult, did she suffer emotional and psychological damage from the disciplinary bondage, or was she able to rise above her bizarre life experience and discover that in New York City, you can make a really decent living as a dominatrix?
The past is spent energy.
Right, wrong or otherwise.
The future is now.
Yours to create.
Strength of spirit is
always
your ultimate power source.
Plug in.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
My Guardian Angel
I believe in God. I believe in Angels. I believe that God sends Guardian Angels to protect us in our times of need.
I was blessed with a Guardian Angel named Loneice -- an angry looking, six foot tall black girl with a rather intimidating presence. She was hostile and seemed agitated most of the time...giving you the impression that she was ready to SNAP at any moment. Everyone steered clear of her.
Well I don't remember exactly how or when it happened...but by the grace of God, Loneice and I bonded instantly. She was to be my Guardian Angel, under whose protective wing I remained safe and sound throughout high school. After all, here I was -- a 5'3" white girl -- enrolled in an all-girls public high school in The Bronx with a 90% black/hispanic student population. This was during the height of racial tension and I was very vulnerable. Yet, thanks to Loneice, this little white girl never once got her ass kicked.
And God only knows how Loneice had the energy to look after me. You see, I had discovered that Loneice was secretly battling a life-threatening bone-marrow disease for which she'd been hospitalized over and over again. As part of an ongoing treatment, she had to take over 20 pills a day. That's why she always looked pissed off. Because she was seriously ill. By all accounts, time was precious to Loneice and therefore, she simply had no time for people's shit.
God bless Loneice. My Guardian Angel.
I was blessed with a Guardian Angel named Loneice -- an angry looking, six foot tall black girl with a rather intimidating presence. She was hostile and seemed agitated most of the time...giving you the impression that she was ready to SNAP at any moment. Everyone steered clear of her.
Well I don't remember exactly how or when it happened...but by the grace of God, Loneice and I bonded instantly. She was to be my Guardian Angel, under whose protective wing I remained safe and sound throughout high school. After all, here I was -- a 5'3" white girl -- enrolled in an all-girls public high school in The Bronx with a 90% black/hispanic student population. This was during the height of racial tension and I was very vulnerable. Yet, thanks to Loneice, this little white girl never once got her ass kicked.
And God only knows how Loneice had the energy to look after me. You see, I had discovered that Loneice was secretly battling a life-threatening bone-marrow disease for which she'd been hospitalized over and over again. As part of an ongoing treatment, she had to take over 20 pills a day. That's why she always looked pissed off. Because she was seriously ill. By all accounts, time was precious to Loneice and therefore, she simply had no time for people's shit.
God bless Loneice. My Guardian Angel.
The Bathroom Door
The following is one of the most profound and inspiring messages I've ever read. I came across it by chance while glancing at family photographs and assorted other stuff tacked to the outside of the bathroom door at Andy's Price-Rite Transmission Repair Shop in upstate New York. You just never know where you're going to find inspiration.
"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God; your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us.
It is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Nelson Mandela
"Our worst fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?"
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God; your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some of us.
It is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Nelson Mandela
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Like a Virgin
Viola! Just like that, I am a virgin again. This is it. My first blog. The first time I am sharing my inner self with the world at large.
I have a lot to share, being a chick from the streets of the South Bronx and all. These days, I'm living in Woodstock New York, surrounded by artsy types and musicians. They're just the coolest people. And not too hard on the eyes either. My boyfriend Alan (a kick-ass Puerto-Rican rock drummer with the band MRI) and I have a studio/rehearsal space called Is Music. It's a joint venture with Tommy James (an awesome British musician who used to be with Freaks of Desire and is now a well known DJ in NYC). The space is being rented on a monthly basis by John Holt, another incredible musician who is currently trying to come up with a name for his band -- they're thinking Momo Tribe. In the upcoming weeks, I'll be posting pictures of the studio with it's swirly silver wall, gold and silver floors, black leather couch and another sectional which I upholstered in silver and gold spandex. It's a trip. I'll also be sharing videos and music of the bands I'm involved with so you can enjoy their talent too.
You'll also hear about my diverse group of friends -- everyone from Jesse Camp (ex-MTV VJ), Emmaretta Marks (original cast of Hair, sang on Jimi Hendrix's album, ex-girlfriend of Keith Richards) and Allen Midgette (Andy Warhol days...)
And last but not least, I'll be sharing excerpts of my book "Bronx Pearls" which chronicles the exhilirating experience of growing up in the South Bronx....and beyond. Some of it's pretty funny, some of it is pretty weird. Hopefully, all of it will be entertaining.
Until then....
I have a lot to share, being a chick from the streets of the South Bronx and all. These days, I'm living in Woodstock New York, surrounded by artsy types and musicians. They're just the coolest people. And not too hard on the eyes either. My boyfriend Alan (a kick-ass Puerto-Rican rock drummer with the band MRI) and I have a studio/rehearsal space called Is Music. It's a joint venture with Tommy James (an awesome British musician who used to be with Freaks of Desire and is now a well known DJ in NYC). The space is being rented on a monthly basis by John Holt, another incredible musician who is currently trying to come up with a name for his band -- they're thinking Momo Tribe. In the upcoming weeks, I'll be posting pictures of the studio with it's swirly silver wall, gold and silver floors, black leather couch and another sectional which I upholstered in silver and gold spandex. It's a trip. I'll also be sharing videos and music of the bands I'm involved with so you can enjoy their talent too.
You'll also hear about my diverse group of friends -- everyone from Jesse Camp (ex-MTV VJ), Emmaretta Marks (original cast of Hair, sang on Jimi Hendrix's album, ex-girlfriend of Keith Richards) and Allen Midgette (Andy Warhol days...)
And last but not least, I'll be sharing excerpts of my book "Bronx Pearls" which chronicles the exhilirating experience of growing up in the South Bronx....and beyond. Some of it's pretty funny, some of it is pretty weird. Hopefully, all of it will be entertaining.
Until then....
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